in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
