All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
