Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
