Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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