If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
