what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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