PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
