If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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