at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
