Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
