Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
