More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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