I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
