whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
