This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
