somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
soo... how was my night?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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