i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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