this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
