I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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