Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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