Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
People in love make me want to vomit
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
