The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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