I skipped work to stalk him.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
