Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
