Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
