I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
