if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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