is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
