Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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