First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
