someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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