you win again, gameday.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
