my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
