maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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