i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
