She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
