I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
