I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
