Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
