Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
