is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
