Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
