I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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