Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
