meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
