i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
