You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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