I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
