After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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