Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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